It's hard being the "new-mom"
Being a mom is hard. Being a newly married and newly crowned mother is HARD! Knowing the struggle of motherhood, I have lately felt like God has laid it on my heart to be a voice for new moms and offer resources that will aid in the journey of motherhood. I am going to share my experiences and what GOD is teaching me through my daughter, my husband, our families, and our friends. Please feel free to share and email me with questions, words of wisdom, or some constructive criticism, as this is all so new for me too!
While I was spending a little too much “me time” in the restroom and scrolling through Facebook the other day, God laid something on my heart. I saw a meme that had a new mother with a quote above her that read “I’m exhausted.” Then in the next picture, there are a bunch of text boxes around the mother that say things like “don’t you have that baby on a schedule?”, “You should be sleeping when the baby sleeps”, “How much are you feeding him?” etc… at the end it shows the mom and she says, “I just wanted to complain about being tired.” Whoa! This hit me so hard in the face! I have been there and one of the hardest things to deal with (I have found) is the unsolicited advice. It is hard enough to be a new wife learning to adapt to cleaning up after, cooking for, and doing laundry for what seems like an army, but now you have this helpless beautiful little human needing everything from you, and now people want to tell you how to do it! As goodhearted and well-intended as it might be, it can also be very overwhelming and extremely hard to process. As a new mom, we are getting what seems like zero sleep. Honestly, I know my walk struggled during this time immensely! As humans prone to sin, we are usually stuck in a constant struggle to choose God or even more so to give things completely to Him. As new parents trying to juggle keeping the baby alive and not letting the house burn down, the struggle is real. For most of us hearing those things like, you should be sleeping when the baby sleeps, you should have them on a schedule, you need to feed them more or less, or whatever the case might be can be so hurtful and demeaning. Looking back, I know none of the comments were meant to be hurtful or demeaning but in the moment of pure, complete exhaustion it feels that way. It feels as if I can’t do anything right and I’m going to end up hurting my baby. NOT TRUE!
I am so thankful that I have amazing in-laws that take care of us and help us, help me. I am so truly grateful for the advice that was bestowed upon me while my little one was a baby. It appears our generation isn’t around babies as much as people used to be. My husband speculates that its due to smaller family size with more frequent only children. There may be some truth in that. It just seems as though people around our age don’t know how to care babies that are helpless. I am not trying to convey that giving advice is wrong or needs to stop. I think it’s quite the opposite. I think this generation having babies needs to hear these things and be given the advice by people that have had kids before. I have heard it said that it takes a village to raise kids and I am seeing that more and more. In my experience there is one key villager missing in it all. God— God is the greatest asset to have. He did give children an instruction manual in the sense that He gave us His truth to live by. God is great, and His love endures, even in the midst of our frustration and messiness. Wisdom from Him is vital to us “newbie” mothers, as well as experienced mothers who have gone before us